


Donut,Touch Me.

by HSKTBK (orphan_account)



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Food Kink, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-01-16 08:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12338988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/HSKTBK
Summary: Hannibal and Will end up in a sticky situation...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost on my new account (sup its me hannibalssketchbook/Jen)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the wierdness. More to come soon ^-^

It was a tiny brown, almost black, bottle. Wrapped in nothing but a regular paper bag with a small note reading " Rare spice, hard to find. Hope you like the gift. P.S use with caution”. Hannibal examined the contents carefully. Inside was a light blue powder, with gold flakes. It smelled sweet, almost disgustingly so but on tasting the sweetness was much more muted.  
"Hmm, very sweet. Floral too," he said as he set the container down on the counter.

*Beep, Beep, Beep*

Pastries, fresh out of the oven, filled the kitchen with the heavy aroma of cinnamon and vanilla. Cutting into the doughy confection, almost surgically, he began filling them with custard. Glazing the buns almost like painting on a canvas. The boiling of the pots, sizzling of the pans, it was like music. The way aromas would commingle together in harmony. Cooking was what brought joy into his life, aside from Will, that is.

"Almost forgot, wine".

With such sweet desserts, Hannibal thought he would pair them with a special sweet wine; Wine that was down in the basement fermenting in his oh so secret ingredient. But unknowingly, Hannibal had knocked over that small bottle on to the pastries.

" 1959, Domaine de la Romanee-Conti Grands Echezeaux Grand Cru, Cote de Nuits, France. Perfect "

Back inside the kitchen, it was a different story. It was like a food fight has taken place during the mere minutes he was gone. The walls had been splattered with melted chocolate, Icing was spilled all over the floor and the fridge was completely open. Other than the sugary mess now painting every wall and appliance nothing seemed to be out of place, expect one éclair and cinnamon roll...and powdered footprints lead to the next room.

"Owch! Watch where you're going!" a low voice exclaimed.  
" Sorry, I’ve never had legs before. " the second voice said, higher in pitch.

To Hannibal's horror and also amusement, he was staring at two pastries, almost 10 times bigger than those sitting in the kitchen, now speaking to each other. They looked almost like himself and Will. The éclair had the same silvery, side swept bangs he had and the cinnamon roll had those dark chocolate curls Will sported in his appearance.

"Oh my," Hannibal said too loud to be a whisper.

They heard him and calmly turned their heads. Slowly walking towards the human towering them.

"Are you our creator?" the éclair asked  
"Uhh," he huffed " Y-yes. Yes, I suppose I am “he was stunned.  
"You're our daddy!" the little cinnamon roll tugged on his pant leg.  
"Pardon me?!"

"You've given us life, surely we should repay you," the éclair said as he turned to his partner. The cinnamon roll smiled, letting out a small giggle. It seemed innocent at first but they way they glared at one another hinted something more mischievous.

Before Hannibal could react they were on him. Doughy hands started fidgeting with his zipper.  
" Whoa! Hey! You don't need to do this!" Hannibal yelled.  
" Shh, It's okay Hanni-bunch" the cinnamon roll caressed his cheek. "we'll take good care of you."  
"Oh! No!.No!.No!!" he fought off sugary fingers, they were stronger than he expected.

***

Although Will didn't have a session with Hannibal that evening, he felt the need to drop by to discuss a certain case that had kicked about in his mind. Every so often arguing with him, and himself.  
"Why am I even going? He probably doesn't want me bothering him this late."  
"I've never seen him complain about our surprise sessions."  
"Can't it wait another day?"  
Will hesitantly walked towards the door. Merely touching the knob, he noticed it had been ajar. Fear and uneasiness rushed through Will. Was there an intruder inside? Was Hannibal hurt? The door was kept closed almost at all times. Whether or not he was in session. It was his private. He crept inside, trying to make as little noise as possible. The place looked as overly pretentious as always. Paintings arranged on every wall, statues placed and hung about near the entrance of some gaudy art exhibition. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but as a safety measure, he grabbed the nearest blunt object, a small stag statue and crept around the house.  
"Hannibal. Are you there?" he whispered. No sight of anyone in the living room.  
Almost cartoonishly tip toeing to the dining room he called out again.  
"Hannibal?"  
"Will!" a loud whisper coming from under the table. It was Hannibal.  
His hair was a mess and his clothes were disheveled with what look like chocolate smears. At least he hoped it was chocolate. He looked like a wreck.  
"Quick! under the table!" he urged.  
"What happened to you?"  
"Shh! They will hear you"  
"They?"  
Will had never seen Hannibal scared. He wondered what shock awaited them.

In the distance, he heard a pair of tiny footsteps coming towards the dining room.  
"Oh, my g-". Hannibal covered his mouth before he could finish.  
"HANNI-BUUUNNNNN! WHERE ARE YOOOUUU?!"  
" Maybe you've scared him away"  
"Those creatures won't leave me the alone! The big one tried to stick his nubby his little fist in my ass and this cinnamon shit kept trying to put my dick in its mouth."  
Will didn't know what was more shocking. Whatever Hannibal was saying....Or the fact that there are two pastries alive and walking around his house. It was amazing, though; they were these living beings, walking around. Talking. He couldn't believe his eyes. As the éclair came closer, Will quickly tried to scoot into the opposite room when a warm cushiony object blocked his way. He turned around, horrified at what smiled back at him.

"Oop! Found you silly! Oh, and you brought a friend" it giggled at the sight of Will.  
"AH! WHAT THE FUCK?!"in a fit of panic , Will threw the cinnamony body. Hurling it across the dining room as it let out a tiny scream when connecting to the wall. Two grown men, scared out of their wits, bolted out of the room faster than humanly possible. They quickly ran up the stairs, rushing to hide from whatever these things were.  
" How rude. That fellow threw you" the éclair said with an affronted tone.  
" IM GONNA GET YOOUUUU!" it sang from below, unfazed by the abuse.  
Fast enough to make Will dizzy. Hannibal had shoved him and Will into a broom closet.

"T-they're..walking..H-Hannibal. Donut. Oh, my god. C-c-cinnamon. What? What?!"  
"Will, calm yourself down," Hannibal said, shaking Will back into reality.  
"What the hell is going on here? What the fuck were those things down there? And why do they look like us?!"  
"Okay, it’s a long story. I was in the kitchen baking and I went down to the basement to grab some wine. When I came back, my kitchen was a mess. Flour, chocolate, and icing were on the floor. The gift that I just got spilled all over the counter and -, " f".Hannibal paused. ".....the blue powder"  
" What blue powder? Hannibal this makes no sense"  
"Don't you think I know that, Will!"  
"I got this bottle of some weird blue powder and it came with a note that said 'use with caution'. Who the fuck sends that kind of shit?!" "That powder probably has something to do with those things prancing about in my house!"  
"What are suppose to do, Hannibal?" "Hide in here till the sun rises?"  
"Shh! I can hear them!"  
On the other side of the door, they heard the muffled conversation down the hallway.  
" Dear, are you hurt?"  
"Oh, no. Of course not. My body took most of the blow"  
"He threw you into a wall"- "you yelped"  
"Well, I wasn't expecting to be thrown across the room"  
"Fair point"

Inches away from them, only a single piece of wood was their barrier. With a sliver of light creeping in by their feet, they could see shadows pacing around the door. They stopped abruptly when suddenly the knob slowly began to move. As quietly as possible, Hannibal grabbed it. Preventing from turning further.  
"Hmm! I think this one's locked!"  
"We can check over here then" as doughy little footsteps padded down the hallway, fading into the distance.  
They sighed in relief. Will turned to Hannibal looking very uneasy.  
"Hannibal, why did they look so much like..us?"  
"Honestly? I don't know! I don't think donuts grown hair!"  
"That giant....Hann-eclair looked exactly like you!"  
Hannibal squinted at the name. "Hann-eclair?"Almost bopping his neck like a chicken he exclaimed "Alright, what about "Cinna-Will? Same brunette curls and the same big doe eyes. The only difference is he's way too handsy" he shuddered at the latter. After what felt like an eternity, they decided it was safe enough to leave the closet. It had been barely 10 minutes but the house was silent. Tentatively, Will peeked his head out to see if the coast was clear. They didn't hear voices nor footsteps anywhere nearby and retreated back downstairs. Still cautious as they kept their voices down.  
"What are we suppose to do? Call the police? A bakery?"  
"Alright, calm down. They've only been alive for a few hours. What could they possibly do?"

***

Hann-eclair explored the books that laid about the office. They wondered through pages after pages of notes and drawings. Trying to figure out more of the human man that had created them. After sifting through piles of notebooks, they stumbled on a certain drawing. A man with various knives and tools jammed into him.  
"haha" Cinna-Will giggled "Daddy likes it rough".


	2. Dough No.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The donuts ain't playing around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating this story for what? Almost a year?  
> Again,this story is co-written and edited by my sister (elliextwelve)...I mean you can't trust with grammar XD

(inside Hannibal’s office)

 

“I can’t find anything else” Hann-eclair said “Maybe we cleaned it out?”  
“A place this big?” Cinna-will replied as he began dismantling the desk.  
“There’s got to be some-thing” he struggled to pull out the last drawer open to search through it.

Something heavy dropped to the floor.

“What is it?”  
“Looks like…a key?

 

Hann-eclair looked at it with intrigue “Seems like someone wanted to make sure this stayed hidden, it must open something quite important, having it tucked away like that”.

 

Cinna-will jumped with excitement “What does it open?! What does it open?!”  
“Well, that’s what we have to find out”.

***  
“This isn’t happening. It’s just another bout on encephalitis. I’m not even here”  
“Will, relax. We are grown men and we can handle ourselves”  
“Handle it how?” Will complained, taking in deep breaths.

Hannibal dragged him into the kitchen, still an absolute mess and disarray.  
“We fight. Two against two. It’s a fair fight” Hannibal grabbed a rolling pin.  
“And we gear up”.

Will and Hannibal were armed to the teeth with their cutting board shields and impenetrable, duct taped, utensil armor, nothing would get through. Hopefully.

“We look like idiots” Will groaned  
“Let’s fork some shit up”  
“Oh my god”

***  
“It’s no use!” Cinna-will grunted in frustration. “We’ve looked everywhere”  
“Well, we can try one more thing”   
They both stared at Hannibal’s priceless harpsichord.  
“What do you suppose we do?”  
“Smash it”

 

And Cinna-will charged into the piano, hitting it with a muffled thud.

 

“We’re too soft to smash it ourselves”  
“Hmph!” Cinna-will grabbed a small stag statue “What about this?”

 

And hoisted it above his head.

 

“Wait!” Hann-eclair grabbed the small deer.   
“Look!”

Underneath the base of the statue was a small compartment.

 

“Do you still have the key?” he asked

 

Cinna-will nodded as he pulled it from his sugary folds. 

It opened with a click and revealed two syringes with several vials of clear liquid which read ‘sedatives’ in its case.

***

They carefully made their way upstairs. Powder and glaze left a trail into Hannibal’s office.

 

“Holy shit.”

It looked as if a bomb went off. Aside from his piano, it was a disaster zone. Almost everything had been turned upside down, inside out. If anything wasn’t bolted to the ground, it was sitting across the floor without care. Will was almost impressed at the carnage they created.

crunch

Under Will’s foot was a broken plastic box, with the key left behind.

“Uh, Hannibal. I think they may have gotten into something of yours”  
“Oh no”  
“What?”

 

He turned to Will.

 

“Sedatives”

***  
“What is it?” Cinnawill asked.  
“Telazol, injective anesthesia. So, in other words, nap time in a bottle”

Cinna-will gave a wide, toothless grin.

Their plan was to inject Will and Hannibal with these special little needles, not to kill them but rather knock them out for a short while. And while unconscious, they could prepare the special present for them. They didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. They thought maybe, if they surprised Hannibal, he’d realize that it was about love. Sweet, sticky, glazed love.

“How much are we suppose to use?”  
“All of it? Just in case”  
“Now, all we have to do is find them”

***

“Are you telling me that we’re being hunted by donuts?”  
“I’m just saying we have to be 10x more careful”  
“Careful? How strong can one little needle be?”  
“Enough to take down a horse”

Hannibal had to think. And fast. All they had to defend themselves with were whatever they found in his kitchen. Anything in his office? Zero. Basement? Nothing but useless corpses down there. Then he remembered, the bedroom. The fuse box was in the closet.

 

“Will, the bedroom”  
“I have a headache”  
“No, in the closet” he explained “the fuse box. We cut the lights in the house”  
“You want us to fight them in the dark?!”  
“Trust me, I know this place like the back of my hand”  
“What if we bump into them?”  
“They won’t” Hannibal said tapping his nose.  
“Okay, where are they know?”  
“Downstairs” sniff “east wing”

Hannibal peered into the bedroom. It seemed to be the one room that remained untouched. Not a single wrinkle out of place. They scuttled into the closet. Behind old worn suits, a small door within the wall, the fuse box.  
Flipping every switch, the entire house went dark.

***  
“What happened to the lights?” Cinna-will yelled.  
Hann-eclair peered out the window, noticing all the other homes on the street were still lit.

 

“Seems like he wants to play games” he smirked

 

They blindly padded through the hallways, bumping into tables and chairs every so often, eventually finding their way back to the staircase. With no clear sign of Hannibal or Will, they made their way upstairs.

SMACK

“OW” Cinna-will shouted as he walked into a door.  
Hann-eclair furrowed his brow.

“This wasn’t here before”

 

Cinna-will felt around the walls, confused as it only stretched barely a metre in.  
“It’s a closet”

 

Hann-eclair carelessly through about everything inside. Emptying boxes of old brushes and books. They had to find something soon or they would end up wandering around in the darkness till sunrise. 

 

Suddenly, a large box fell on top of Cinna-will, knocking him down and spilling the contents within. Conveniently switching a flashlight on by accident.

 

“H-H-Help me” He struggled.

Hann-eclair reached out and pulled him from the rubble.   
“We can definitely use this” grabbing the flashlight.  
Pointing the light down the opposite direction they came from, light foot prints.

They followed the tracks.

***  
“This is ridiculous!” Will angrily whispered.  
“Well then, you think of something!”  
“I’m not the reason they’re here!”

Hann-eclair and Cinna-will peered through the slit of the door as the two quietly argued. Slowly, Hann-eclair slipped his hands into the folds of his doughy friend, pulling out the needles.

“Here” he placed the syringe in Cinna-will’s hand  
“On three, we rush them”  
The cinnamon roll nodded.  
“One. T-”

 

“AAAAHHH!” he screamed charging at Hannibal.

Will barely had time to turn around before something jumped on his back, following a sharp pain in his neck.

 

He quickly became disoriented and stumbled to the ground.

“Shh, relax” Hann-eclair padded his cheek.

He heard Hannibal’s voice in the distance.

“Son of a bitch stabbed me in the dick!”

And then everything went black.


End file.
